Hell’s Kitchen HR Style.

I am NOT a chef by ANY stretch of the imagination. I hate cooking. I hate cleaning up after cooking. Most of the time I screw up the recipe so I hate the final product. I just do NOT like to cook, nor am I any good at it when I put my mind to it.

However, at work we have monthly Pot-luck lunches with different themes. Since I’ve been here we’ve had a “dip” themed pot-luck, a thanksgiving dinner pot-luck, and a desert-ish pot-luck. For each of these I store bought my item to bring. All of my co-workers know I don’t like to cook and that my family is an instant/boxed meal type of family. They think it’s hilarious.

So, today we have a “salad” themed pot-luck. My first thought was to go to the store and buy the already-cut up fruit, mix it together, and serve a delicious fruit salad. I really should have stuck with this idea.

Do you see where this is going?

I decide to go outside of my comfort zone and actually try to put something together. Now, mind you, I never attempt anything without a recipe. Ever. I wish I could be like one of those “Top Chef” individuals who actually know what flavors and spices go together, and who can whip up a 5 star meal with little more than a spatula, some garlic, and an open flame. But I’m not.

So, I find what I think is the EASIEST shrimp salad recipe EVER and I decide to go with this: shrimp, lemon juice, dill, cucumbers, celery and a little mayonaise. Sounds delicious amiright?

First thing to note: my house is not a house that has fresh produce readily available. Therefore, we have no celery or cucumber. In addition, we usually don’t keep shrimp on hand either. So in order to make this salad I needed to go to the store. One thing I hate more than cooking is GROCERY SHOPPING! UGH! Fucking kill me now. So I put it off, and I put it off, and all of a sudden it’s the Thursday night before the pot-luck lunch, and I’ve still not gone to the store. I finally decide to go to the store after I put my children to bed last night. But before I had the chance a Vodka and lemonaide appeared in front of me and the last thought I had while greedily sucking down my adult beverage was “Eh, I’ll go in the morning.”

So there I am at 6:30 in the morning with my nearly 4 year old who LOVES TO HELP SHOP!!! looking for the damn bags of already-cooked-but-still-frozen shrimp. And I can’t find them. So, instead of those handy bags with the already de-tailed and cooked shrimp I get a HUGE platter of already cooked shrimp, but still with the tail on, and decide that I have nothing better to do with my time before work pulling the damn tails off these shrimp to put into my shrimp salad.

NOT TOMENTION, I’m pretty sure I put too much dill in the sauce.

So, it’s going to be interesting. I’m really starting to think I had taken the hubs’ advice and just mixed some lettuce with marzetti’s and called it a day.


1 Comment

  1. You shoulda gone with g’ma’s oriental slaw! People love it and it’s easy to do in ten minutes! Also, crushing the noodles is great for releasing stress! A meat mallet/tenderizer and a few packages of Ramen are all you need! Grab that mallet and go to town, beatin’ them noodles! 🙂

Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s