Busy, busy, busy…

I have come to the realization that I only have time to write blog posts on the weekends (ha! as if I really have time on the weekends).

I apologize to my reader (Hi Jess).

 

Hell’s Kitchen HR Style.

I am NOT a chef by ANY stretch of the imagination. I hate cooking. I hate cleaning up after cooking. Most of the time I screw up the recipe so I hate the final product. I just do NOT like to cook, nor am I any good at it when I put my mind to it.

However, at work we have monthly Pot-luck lunches with different themes. Since I’ve been here we’ve had a “dip” themed pot-luck, a thanksgiving dinner pot-luck, and a desert-ish pot-luck. For each of these I store bought my item to bring. All of my co-workers know I don’t like to cook and that my family is an instant/boxed meal type of family. They think it’s hilarious.

So, today we have a “salad” themed pot-luck. My first thought was to go to the store and buy the already-cut up fruit, mix it together, and serve a delicious fruit salad. I really should have stuck with this idea.

Do you see where this is going?

I decide to go outside of my comfort zone and actually try to put something together. Now, mind you, I never attempt anything without a recipe. Ever. I wish I could be like one of those “Top Chef” individuals who actually know what flavors and spices go together, and who can whip up a 5 star meal with little more than a spatula, some garlic, and an open flame. But I’m not.

So, I find what I think is the EASIEST shrimp salad recipe EVER and I decide to go with this: shrimp, lemon juice, dill, cucumbers, celery and a little mayonaise. Sounds delicious amiright?

First thing to note: my house is not a house that has fresh produce readily available. Therefore, we have no celery or cucumber. In addition, we usually don’t keep shrimp on hand either. So in order to make this salad I needed to go to the store. One thing I hate more than cooking is GROCERY SHOPPING! UGH! Fucking kill me now. So I put it off, and I put it off, and all of a sudden it’s the Thursday night before the pot-luck lunch, and I’ve still not gone to the store. I finally decide to go to the store after I put my children to bed last night. But before I had the chance a Vodka and lemonaide appeared in front of me and the last thought I had while greedily sucking down my adult beverage was “Eh, I’ll go in the morning.”

So there I am at 6:30 in the morning with my nearly 4 year old who LOVES TO HELP SHOP!!! looking for the damn bags of already-cooked-but-still-frozen shrimp. And I can’t find them. So, instead of those handy bags with the already de-tailed and cooked shrimp I get a HUGE platter of already cooked shrimp, but still with the tail on, and decide that I have nothing better to do with my time before work pulling the damn tails off these shrimp to put into my shrimp salad.

NOT TOMENTION, I’m pretty sure I put too much dill in the sauce.

So, it’s going to be interesting. I’m really starting to think I had taken the hubs’ advice and just mixed some lettuce with marzetti’s and called it a day.

On motherhood (the first of many, I feel sure…)

Oh.my.lord. This parenting is going to KILL me.

The littlest turned 1 about 3 weeks ago and since then he has REALLY been showing his “colors”. Refuse to give him the pearing knife we used to cut an apple. SCREAAAMMMM. Gently place him out of reach of the curtains that could easily be pulled down. SCREAAAMMMM HOLLER HOLLERRRR!!! Try to tell him in a soothing voice that it’s probably better if we sit in the… SIT in the… FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SIT IN THE BATH-TUB!!! WAIIIILLLLL SCREAAAMMMM HOLLLLEEEERRRRRRRRRRR!!!

This is all in addition to my nearly 4 year old who is testing me every-time I turn around.

Wow, am I tired.

 

And because I haven’t yet introduced Baby 2.0

And because I haven't yet introduced Baby 2.0

He’s thrilled to meet you.

Totes Fab.

I used that phrase in an email earlier today and I loved it. So even though it has nothing to do with this post I’m using it as my title.

(First world problem rant ahead)

I received my new bag last week. I don’t like it. I’m very disappointed. The style bag I got has been raved about by online fans and I thought I’d get the bag and use it as my work bag. The pattern is BE-U-TIFUL; however, it is just so.heavy. Now, I’ve been known to carry a large bag or two in my time because I like to be prepared when out and about. But this bag was just ridiculous. I think it was heavy to begin with becaus of the fabric; and once I put my water-bottle, deodorant, make-up, various boy child “things”, and a couple of other work-ish, end-of-the-world-ish, type things, it was incredibly unmanageable EVEN FOR ME!!! And I am not one to shy away from a gorgeous big bag just because my shoulder might ache for the majority of the day. But this was bad even for me.

Alas, I had to send it back. SOB.

BUT, fear not. Petunia patterns are available in not one but usually 3 or 4 different bag styles. I will be trying a size smaller (in the same fabric) and hope to the lord baby HAY-SOOSE that it is less cumbersome and pain-inducing. But now I have to wait for the bag DE BEHEMOTH to ship BACK to Pasadena and have Petunia send me the new bag, which in my mind will take until my youngest child starts high school. SO NOT FUN!!!

On a completely unrelated note, Hubs is going to the physician on March 6th for the first time in like 10 years. SERIOUSLY. I’ve known him for a little over 5 years and the ONLY time he’s gone to the Dr in that time period was when he needed to get his immunizations for immigration purposes. And before then, who knows when the last time was, ’cause I mean, seriously, he’s Balkan. They believe in the healing powers of butter, water, and a lack of air conditioning. It is rare that a Balkan will go to the Doctor for a serious issue let alone a check up. I felt bad giving my teething toddler teething tablets in front of my Mami-in-law a few years ago, and do you know how long it took me to get Hubs to appreciate Ibuprofen/Tylenol. They JUST do NOT take a lot of pill-type-medication.

For a while we didn’t have health insurance so it was “ok” that he wasn’t going to the doctor. However, upon commencement of my employment almost a year ago, we obtained insurance and I’ve finally convinced him to go.

woot!

Vomit.

My baby (one year old is still considered a “baby”, right?) vomits. A lot. At least once a day we have to run him to the bathroom and toss his clothes in the trash.

Am I the only parent who has to deal with this on a daily basis?

I find myself bracing for the onslaught of curdled milk every time Pax coughs, clears his throat, BREATHES TOO DEEPLY. It’s ridiculous. Forget about solid pieces of food. Sometimes even the purees make him gag to the point of vomiting. I mentioned this to the Dr. at his one year check up and Doc’s response, “Some babies just have a sensitive gag reflex. He’ll get over it. Just keep letting him experiment with small pieces of food.”

Great. Sounds easy, right?

Until you’re cleaning up cottage-cheese-looking vomit off the dining room carpet and thinking to yourself “When did he eat cottage cheese?” The answer being, HE DIDN’T.

So yes, I’m a little tired of the vomit. And I’m hoping it stops. Otherwise the beh-beh will exist on yogurt and milk.

*******************************************************************

In other news, I ordered a Petunia with my tax refund and it is TOTES going to be here tomorrow. CAN’T WAIT!!!!

So, I’m actually NOT in law school anymore…

But I have no idea how to change the super cool tag line off to the left… so, for now, we’ll leave it as is.

Quick recap for those of you still reading (cough*Jessi*cough):

I graduated Law School.

Moved back in with the mother.

Got pregnant.

Failed the Bar.

Cried.

Became a substitute teacher.

Had Baby-J 2.0.

Started my HR career.

Um. Yeah, I think those were the milestones.

I am now a full-time working mother of two children, and it is CRAY-CRAY having two kids under the age of 5. Let me tell you. I was super rigid with the eldest’s schedule. With 2.0, I have to be totally flexible with his schedule. Now, don’t get me wrong. There are still some things that will never change: ie. 8 p.m bedtime. But I am much more relaxed with nap-times and meal-times. I actually work around the eldest’s schedule, because let’s be honest, a 1 year old cares not about what time he eats, so long as he’s fed. Ifyaknowwhatimean!

My job is fabulous. I work in a field (HR) that I’ve loved for a long time, but which was put on hold for the whole “Law School” thing. I work for the county government in a consolidated office who deals with both county and school employees. I never really understood how freaking obnoxious teachers could be until I started working here.

::Ducks under table as the sister throws evil looks::

So, all in all things are moving along nicely.

I’m still obsessed with Petunia, Pandora, ebay, and my children. That will likely never change.

 

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